A Case of the...Thursdays?

I am drinking diet dr. pepper. i hate diet drinks.
I am choosing paint colors for my new office, but nothing matches the only wall in the department that i like...that was JUST painted, but apparently by a phantom paint swatch.
I have post it notes on top of post it notes and am only 1/3 through on most of the projects on my desk.
I need to go to the supply store, but i am too busy.
I need to eat, but the canned soup in my desk is encouragement enough for me to just skip a meal.
i just got really excited to eat a homeade macadamian nut cookie that i have been saving, the first bite made me gag. I didnt know cookies could taste so terrible.

The Louisiana Wife.....

A man married a woman from KANSAS. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.


Another man married a woman from MICHIGAN.. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.



The third man married a girl from LOUISIANA . He ordered her to keep the house clean, the dishes washed, the lawn mowed, the laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

The second to last place I want to be...

I am sitting in a chair that smells of cheetos. The carpet has stains and hardened gum and the trash is overflowing with Subway bags and dirty diapers. The elevator music is almost unbearable; it has that annoying prodiminant flutist that plays a thirty minute solo that makes me Imagine I am at Morrison's or Ryans waiting for the overweight woman to finish being creative with her version of a taco salad when the buffet bins are filled to the brim with perfectly intact taco shells. The air is musty and coming out of a whistling vent on the wall that has been painted so many times you hardly notice the buried screws holding it up. A saleswoman is in the hall discussing her ploy to get free medical advice this afternoon when she drops off samples to the doctor. A woman is glaring at me with a "how dare you" or "you are too old to wear that" as she gives my polo dress the once over. I probably would glare at me too if I was at the end of my third trimester and wearing an entire bolt of fabric. Her husband looks happy, which I'm crediting to the cute young nurse just referred to his wife as "the patient" and him as "daddy." This is what I am surrounded by as I wait for my named to be called, already thirty minutes after my appoinent time, so I can head back to one of the too cold rooms with too rough paper sheets and gowns for an all too familiar procedure. This moment may fall right under my twelve hour Monday, but just above my four hour class tonight on my "shitty ways to start a week" scale.