So there’s me…and those other girls.

So there’s me…and those other girls.

The ones compared with straight hair and perfect curls.

The ones that are witty and a touch prettier than me-And the one that I introduce as myself, but… isn’t quite me.

The one that you dated, the one that you’d trust… (super athletic and sexy) much like the one you hated…and lust.

All of them standing in the lineup with me-There’s her- and her- and my insecurity.

They are shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip-you let them be.
Turn away, walk along, but they force you to see.

“Don’t compare us,” but “please tell us who you love more???” Not realizing your glancing at a rear view mirror…not a revolving door.

But honestly speaking, in this lineup- I see-is THEIR “one that that they introduce- that isn’t quite me.”

So in higher-self and lower-self, in the ether they float-the women that we think that you’d like the most.

But something that sparks here and there with a dimming light-
Is the ME that I can (breathe out, breathe in) sleep with at night.

 

"Really?"

I worked a few hours late Friday night and somewhere between my eyes blurring and sighs of exhaustion, I decided it was time for a break. I needed to go somewhere, anywhere, just to get away. I ran in Hobby Lobby to get some decorating ideas for my sister’s baby shower and Easter was painted everywhere. I was tired, running out of ideas and starving and then one of those “really?” moments hit me.

I have asked every single “boyfriend” and “friend-boy” to get me a hollow chocolate bunny for Easter so we could bite off his ear and drink milk out of him together.

Last year makes the seventh year that this didn’t happen. It had even become a joke with one guy that I dated for years. I finally broke down and bought myself one while shopping WITH a guy. But really, I don’t demand jewelry, dozens of roses-I hate all of that crap...but is a Palmers hollow chocolate Easter bunny and a little QT too much to ask for?

So, this year, and from here on out…I plan to buy myself the first one I come across, so I am not tempted to ask, therefore in-turn…will not be let down. Thanks guys.

your smell

I wish that I could bottle up your smell
From behind your ears, and never tell.
I would pull if from your chin and neck
when you were sleeping and would not suspect.

I wish I could steal away your smell,
from the air you breath in the one nostril where-
you whistle at night and sigh and snore
and your nose would need not attract me any more

I want to take from your chest your smell,
Where there is only warmth, and no hair
I would sweep it all down to your belly button
and draw it out and leave it nothing.

And when you’ve tossed your clothes aside
And you jump in the shower, ill be outside
Waiting to capture all the scent left there
From your hoodie and jeans till they were bare

Then unsuspecting you would towel off,
brush your teeth-search for matching socks;
you would never guess that I would be
In the shower stealing all the smell you left me

And as always, we would seize the day
and I’d hide my bottle-so you couldn’t take it away
And I’d take care not to let it drop,
or slip and fall and loosen the top.

And dinner and singing and laughing would come
as sighs and yawns fall from our tongues;
and as we find ourselves drifting to sleep,
I’d bottle up your last breath,
as you whisper that you love me

we do what we do.

Maybe If I type it...

I have made mistakes. I hate to sound “condescending” but sometimes I just don’t understand how the decisions that some people make-made good sense in their head at the time. People are are often so much more than how they act. I think men should concentrate on having the back bone to live how they know is right. Then people around them, especially women, will respect them and hopefully, their stand will shed light on others shortcomings and bring them to raise their own standards.
I have really tried to work on things myself. Women are terrible at telling guys no-In the past I was way too nice and felt sorry for them-now im a beast-they wont even come towards me because I now have a pretty solid reputation that im not an idiot and when a guy is brave enough to talk to me I respond immediately with “ I admire your confidence in approaching me, im not interested in meeting anyone-it doesn't matter if I am single, but thank you for approaching me respectfully-(if they did in which case if they didn’t im more of a bitch).
I have had to work hard to learn to say im sorry, and I honestly feel like I have apologized immediately whenever I have felt that I have been wrong for the prodominate part of the last year.
I used to “be cool” and act like things didn’t bother me-leading only to an uprising down the road...or my ever-famous profession that there is “nothing wrong” and I am POSITIVE we can both agree that there certainly was.
I know the grass is not greener, no one really feels that sorry for me so i shouldn't feel sorry for myself and as far as the things in my life that are “NOT” okay-I'm changing them too. Its not okay for me to turn my head when something is going on that is not right.
Its not okay for me to be late for work so I've started getting up earlier, having half the drinks I used to if I go out and have begun letting the “dirty laundry” sit if my sleep is more important.
Its not okay for me to make fun of people-and I don't remember the last time that I did.
Its not okay to judge peoples actions-I just let it be known that I disagree and I cease 100 percent participation if the night goes in a direction that I don’t agree with.
I know that I have grown a lot this year and finally, for the first time in my life, started to trust people.
I want to marry a man that I trust. I need to know that I am the only person on the planet that they will ever want…for their sake as well.
Its not just that I need to feel secure about how they feel about me.
I never ever want to feel trapped in a marriage, or have to go through a divorce.
I have abandoned really great guys-it never hurt me.
I fear that I will fall for a man to whom I am not exactly what they want and i don't want to be someone's "good enough" or "settle."
I don’t want to date around-I want to date the person I want to marry and commit myself to them-for good and bad-through fat times and mid life crisis-and if they can imagine a chance that some beautiful woman could whisp them away-I would suggest a slow down in their pursuit.
I want a man who actively works on being the best person that he can be.
I don’t ever want to stop examining myself either.
I want to marry someone who admires me and adores me and appreciates who I am becoming.
I know I will annoy them and they will annoy me.
I want to be with someone that exudes love for me.
I want to be on the same page.
I want a man to take me to church, appreciate my cooking and run my bath water.
I don’t want to think the search has ended if in reality one of us still feels like we are taking a chance.
My commitment phobia I justify with with the excuse that I am tired with work and school, but I think it’s a bad excuse.

Every woman needs a rent-a-husband…or two.

I have discovered that it is impossible to find a man that you are physically and emotionally attracted to, that is also a handy man. In fact, I am pretty sure little boys are pulled aside in school and taught that they must choose if they are to be the “marrying” or “fixing” kind. In my brief experience i have learned that there is a significant difference between boyfriends and rent-a-husbands. In an effort to save anyone an argument, I decided to share the differences so that there is less confusion of what is expected of each

BOYFRIEND
Has to be told to take out trash repeatedly and only does so once the smell is unbearable.
RENT-A-HUSBAND
Buys a new trashcan that is easier to roll with a year supply of liners.

BOYFRIEND
Buys wrinkle releaser and febreeze in an effort to avoid washing or ironing any article of clothing.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Irons your clothes for you so you can get ready to go see your friends on time.

BOYFRIEND Takes Two plus weeks to call a refrigerator repairman and doesn’t even consider the financial loss of food.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Investigates the problem, googles directions, purchases the part and gets rid of your old leftovers to make room for the wine he picked up on the way home from Home Depot.

BOYFRIEND Has no idea how many miles are to be driven on a vehicle before maintenance is required but he knows it is at least a few weeks after the warning light starts flashing.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Washes your car because he was “already there” when he was getting your oil changed and new inspection sticker.

BOYFRIEND Has no inclination of when you are having “girl time.”
RENT-A-HUSBAND Walks on egg shells and brings you chocolate so you can rest while he hangs the pictures that are too heavy for you.

BOYFRIEND Doesn’t require affection of any kind until he makes the move-which is usually for the duration of at least two commercials.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Doesn’t expect even a hug after working for four hours on your broken central air unit or painting your bathroom.

BOYFRIEND Gets pissed when you yell at him and classifies all serious discussions as a fight.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Enjoys your banter and calls you a bitch to your face…and you love it.

BOYFRIEND Needs assistance locating the lawn mower.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Winterizes your lawn equipment and gets a comfy handle for the rake so you don’t get blisters.

BOYFRIEND Has no idea what cleaners are for what so when guilted into cleaning a toilet-they reach for a wad of toilet paper and call it a good job.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Warns you against using harsh chemicals on your new hardware and bring you a dust mop for your refinished floors.

BOYFRIEND Buys you flowers twice a year as an answer to something terrible they did.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Landscapes your yard, changes out your perennials and knows you hate roses.

BOYFRIEND Takes three hours to respond to a text because he is taking nonstop shots at the bar with his boys.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Buys you shots that he knows you love and then hands you an ice water because he knows you have a sensitive stomach.

BOYFRIEND Tells you to meet him after you are done shopping for household items and paint supplies.
RENT-A-HUSBAND Meets you at the store so you don’t have to lift the 5 gallon buckets or put gasoline in your car.

Hopefully this clears some things up…and give you guys some incentive to step up his game.
Inevitably, we will continue to love the men that love us...and pray each night they act like their crutch-like rental counterparts.