Today I added Grumps to the tank. He is a pretty active little hermit crab who has been filtering the sand like he is on speed. I ate half of a pint of Blackberries, an oatmeal cream pie and drank two cokes after my six inch sub...and I'm wondering why I have gained weight-shocker.
Today has been laughably mundane. I delivered mail, ordered supplies, looked over the office budget, and entered time. The excitement was only interrupted once by my trip back to the Dr.’s office where I sat for over an hour waiting for my appointment. This time, it was NOT my fault. They called my name at 12:15-my appointment was at 11:30. To the dreaded scale…no change since Monday, not even an ounce.
I sat in the tiny exam room on the crisp paper and stared at the stacks of latex gloves that could so easily be my demise. I glanced at “Phoebe,” my new fever blister and almost gagged at how gross it looks. I have not had one in 9 months, but something about huge, stressful changes and lack of sleep just brings them out. I glanced down at my super white knees peeping out from my Polo dress and wished I had had the extra five minutes to slather on some Jergens Express tanning lotion-but I willingly accepted mediocrity today. Escada and Versace couldn’t make me feel cute on a day with a fever blister.
My Dr. strolled in like she was an hour early rather than late and invited me to the more comfortable room across the hall-this is never “good” news. She sighs as she sits and I immediately break a sweat and remember how great of a deal I got on deodorant at Albertson’s ten for $10 sale. As she asked question after question that amounted to nothing I quickly saw that there was a bomb brewing just as soon as this fuse burned down. And then she came out with it. She gave me diagnosis in a way that made me imagine her in front of her bathroom mirror repeating her tactful soliloquy until she had each perfected and ready to place neatly in her mental file.
As she pressed on, she dug deeper into me with questions that left me more than vulnerable. I humbly answered all of her questions, while simultaneously wondering what problems she had dealt with to bring her to a profession that would force her to deal with everyone else’s. You have to wonder who reciprocates on her behalf; who hacks away at her emotions and helps her embrace positive thinking? I glanced at her rather impressive emerald cut diamond and imagined tiny ice skaters circling atop and being charged admission.
I left relieved and yet questioning, but loved how communicative she was and allowed me to be. I stepped outside and the cool air reminded me of James Taylor-September Grass. I can’t wait for football.
